We never know what a step of faith in God may bring. We came full of hope as to what He had in store, but we now leave allowing the Holy Spirit to sing.
We didn’t imagine our journey as such, but no man is truly in charge of his destination. Now we take the pieces of our shattered dreams and place them in His hands with hearts empty, yet full of anticipation.
My God is able to fill our life with exactly what we need. In His time, He will not only make it good, but He will make it to exceed.
God please give us all it takes to be and become all that you envision us to be. Make our journey a work of art that someday we too can see.
With love we came and with love we leave, we can’t count it as a loss. But we know we will be forever changed and so we put it all at the foot of the cross.
The words above are a poem I (Tami) wrote in the middle of our journey of these past 9 months. We have not blogged about this last “season of life” before now because it has been a nearly unspeakable journey that has brought so much change, heart ache and yes, even joy. We have lost so much and yet we have gained even more. How does so much pain and happiness happen in one season? I don’t know, but our experience over these past 9 months proves that pain and joy are not necessarily opposites. What follows is my attempt to share just a little of how God has been working in our lives over the past several months. We’ll outline God’s work in greater detail in our next post but wanted to encourage you with this first…
In May of this year (2016) Todd and I (Tami) were in Dallas for some significant marriage training related to a ministry we are part of called Marriage Restored. At one point in our training we were being prayed for by one of the leaders who prayed we would soon realize that we are “pregnant with our miracle.” Of course, it was very hard for me to hear those words because we had just lost our baby to miscarriage in January. To be pregnant would have been a miracle because my body was still very out of sorts, but I knew that was NOT what she was meaning as she prayed so passionately for us. I believe that the Holy Spirit knew how pregnancy is such a REAL metaphor to me, and so He gave that imagery to her to use in praying for me and speaking into my life. The making and birthing of a baby is so very close to who I am and her words resonated deeply in my soul. I walked out of that prayer in tears of joy and pain. I began to think about it all, Were we really going to be going through 9 months of discomfort and pain?” My heart ached at the thought but I was also encouraged because I completely understand the miracle and joy that is there on the other side of the 9 months. I know that both the wait and the pain is worth it!
Todd and I both treasured that prayer and kept the words God spoke to us through her close to our hearts.
A few months later God used two couples to “speak life” into us once again at points where we were weary in our faith. On two separate occasions, they both spoke to us using “birth” as a metaphor for explanation and encouragement regarding the work of God in our lives. One of them joyfully said, “Tami, you of all people should be able to recognize that what you are going through in life right now are birth pains related to what God is bringing to life through you and Todd!”
One thing that has become clear to us is that God has not abandoned us. Instead, he has been adding to and forming our testimony for his purpose and His glory. He has been miraculously knitting things together in ways that only he knew how to craft and shape to make us into what he desires us to be! He has had us waiting on Him in ways that have taught us patience and trust. At the same time, He has shown us signs and given us assurance He is in control. God has shown Himself to me in ways I knew he could but never believed he would for me personally.
He is doing that for you too! Don’t be surprised if he takes you on a crazy and seemingly senseless journey. If He does, trust him. If you experience pain, believe that joy is soon to follow.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,
who have been called according to his purpose.”
~ Romans 8:28 ~